Thursday 30th September 2004

It's 12.40pm and I'm sitting here in my dressing gown, now and again stroking my bump with you in it, the size of about a grain of rice? I've slept for that long, too long, and woke up remembered I was pregnant wtih you, I've taken so many pills to chill out my tooth ache baby that I'm hoping all is fine in there?!!Daddy has just text to wonder what I'm doing, I just fancy some chips for lunch, I know it will irritate my tooth but I'm starving. Update later, hey mummy needs food xxxx

Between Monday 27th September and Wednesday 29th September...

(Wednesday) Please little ricey baby (that's mummy's nickname) keep the strength with me to get through this nasty tooth ache and get to the other side, so I can hold you, our own little baby in our arms come June 2005!"ouch toothache :( "It's not fair, this pain mummy has been uncomfortable for the past 3 days now, fingers crossed the pain goes away.We love you xxxps Big brother's betrothed himself to Alex again, so after your birth we shall buy him a wedding outfit *cheeky grin*

Well I've missed an input again, sheesh pin head, what am I like? - Daddys nickname again, he can't keep calling you that, wonder what he will come up with next? Well I was off work yesterday, poorly and I've been in work with you today and still feel rotten because of my poorly wisdom tooth. Can't wait to see you next week on the scan, it's less than a week away now as we speak and a week 'til we meet our midwife and she asks a million questions about Alex and Ashley and Declan's pregnancies. That's going to be a bit eww, but I'm having that day off...."nite, nite pin head xxx"

Sunday 26th September 2004

Sunday already, doesn't seem like 5 minutes since i did the pregnancy test last Monday! The week has gone fairly quick and the weekend... TOO QUICK!!! Yesterday (Saturday) we told grandma and grandad Cooke and auntie Jane and Nana she and Norman that you, our little pin head exists, and today, we told Granda and Nana Lin. I think that is all, daddy and I stroke my belly knowing your snoozing inside and right now you can't tell it's happening, daddy keeps kissing you too!! Big brother Declan is not mentioning me being pregnant with you, and that noise you hear sometimes is Declan screeching or crying or me crying because Declan's not really hopeful that you are going to come and meet him I don't think. It upsets me that he is scared that you may not come into this world like Alex and Ashley passed yet I have faith that the baby aspirin I'm taking is doing us both good and you will come to meet your mummy, daddy and big brother Declan in 8 months and make us all happy! I'm sure once Declan sees all the scans that you are growing and growing inside me and comes to gie you a big kiss the day you are born he will be ok, at the moment I think he just thinks that we are giving him false promises about another baby. See you in 8 months, can't wait Love Mummy, Daddy and Declan xxxx

Friday 24th September 2004

Health update really, I still feel like I could work for about 3 hours and sleep for the rest of the time... tits are still tender and I haven't got a bump, well I've got a tiny one which at 3 weeks should be more like none existent but I'm a bit tubby anyway... got my midwife appointment on the 6Th October, the day after the scan so that should be an interesting couple of days.Sat at home most the afternoon bored, well I've played on the PS2 and been on the PC and wanted to sleep whilst I've got the chance and have a bath to warm me up but no, sitting here, updating my pregnancy diary/journal about little"pin head" (as daddy nicknamed you for the moment)at 22:35pm and chatting to me mate on msn!

Thursday 23rd September 2004

Well today has been yet another boring day at work, finally found something to do, ready my 'Pregnancy & Birth' magazine when I first got into work because I was bored and wasn't sure what I would be doing for the rest of the day 'til 4pm. Joanne's last day tomorrow and I'll be really bored not being able to email her loads to chat whilst we do some kind of work. Well I feel tubby, I shouldn't have a bump yet but I've got a tiny one 'cause I didn't lose that much weight before I got pregnant again. I really love being pregnant, we are both looking forward to the scan on the 5Th October, yet I doubt they will be able to see much as I'll only be 5 weeks at the most by then! Daddy kisses and strokes "beanie", which I really love *blush* I'm looking forward to the scan and all scans, and Christmas because by then I should be about 16 weeks and hopefully getting past any scary anxieties, fingers crossed!!!!

Wednesday 22nd September 2004

3rd Official day since testing positive, been out to lunch (with Joanne from work and feel tired now, its half three and I wish I could do a Mary Poppins, click my fingers and be back at home with my feet up and asleep on the sofa) The first 12 weeks are the most tiring... fingers crossed another 28 weeks to go after that! :)

Tuesday 21st September 2004

Day 2 And yes Officially Pregnant! LMP (last menstrual Period was 11Th August 2004) We started TTC (trying to conceive) Wednesday 1st September 2004. I've had a feeling I was pregnant even before my AF (Aunt Flo) was due on the 12Th September. At work, and have spent 19 days wondering if I would get pregnant straight away it looks like I have and now I am pregnant I can't believe it, due dates will be weird, I reckon about 1st June 2005 or maybe week before? Or on or around my birthday (23rd May) By Christmas this year I should be past our scary milestones where we lost Ashley and Alex so I am looking forward to a Happy Christmas with Phil Declan and bump.

Monday 20th September 2004

As agreed, I went and bought a pregnancy test, 'First Response', Phil doesn't want me to do the "...test 'til we get home..", he even text me today to say "...drink plenty.." and that he "couldn't wait til home time"awww bless! xxxxxxx I was very tired today at work (or is that bored stupid?) and couldn't wait myself to get home and do the test (bearing in mind i was dying for a wee *crosses legs*) We got in about twenty past five and I ran upstairs and undid the test, trying to hold my wee in on the toilet, Pee'd on the little stick and stood it up (so such fluids would drain down the stick) before the recommended 3 minutes was up. The stick showed two lovely II lines so that's it! officially pregnant! BIG FAT POSITIVE :) 3rd time lucky we hope! Emotions... Running high, I feel happy! I feel upset and scared after losing Alex and Ashley, Happy and Positive more than anything, all three of us, and ickle bump too!!!

Phil suggested...

...buy a test!

Phil suggested "buy a test" tonight in bed (this i had wanted to do yesterday whilst out shopping - men huh!) So I am Happy to know he doesn't mind me going and spending money on a pregnancy test tomorrow! *grins*